Little boy, you're going to hell
by C a P T i V i T Y
Summary: Kyle looses his hat and a lot of blood, Kenny grows wings, Cartman gets hit by a truck, Stan is the quiet one, and they're all dead anyway, so Kyle might as well admit he's gay. /\ Slight STyle, Oneshot.


The worlds ends at exactly 3:00 PM on a Monday.

It pisses Kyle of severely, seeing as he used to be a non-believer and basically told everyone that said the end was coming to go fuck themselves. He spend his Sunday night doing homework and fighting his mom over college.

His last night on earth, he realizes, was as uneventful as his entire life, and now he's dead and the world has burned to a crisp and it won't ever really matter anymore.

This is what he and Stan are silently discussing as the world is burning up around them and the earth is splitting beneath them. Kyle angrily holds his hat on his head with one hand, seeing as it floats away every time he lets go, and tries not to sound too whiny as he says: "I've done absolutely _nothing_ meaningful with my life."

"Death isn't that bad." Kenny comments from across the room, he has to say it loudly over the screams of all the kids in class, but when he just gets empty stares from his two friends he simply stands up and walks over to them as if the world isn't fucking ending. "Death isn't that bad." He repeats when he's reached them, "At least you don't get so fucking hungry all the time... unless that's your curse, of course."

His white Parka has ripped and is now mostly floating behind him, looking like angel wings. He outgrew his orange one in the fifth grade, when he suddenly started shooting up into the air. His family was hungry for two full weeks so he could have the damn thing, but he made up for it by getting a job and paying his father back every last penny.

"How would you know that?" Stan wonders, he hasn't bothered to keep his hat on him when it floated away and his hair is now wildly moving around his face.

Stan is definitely an all American child, Kyle thinks, and he looks more like his father than he would like to admit, even occasionally getting drunk and dialing Kyle with stupid shit.

They've started falling now, the three of them holding hands. Kyle is on the right of his two friends, holding Kenny's hand with his left hand and using his right hand to keep his ushanka on his head.

"I just do." Kenny shrugs, as if they aren't falling. Kyle has almost forgotten about their conversation, and snaps back to reality with force. He couldn't really care less about their little chat, and is instead focused on the fall towards hell.

"The fall to hell is fucking long." He realizes when he can't see the ground. His eyes lay on the deep dark abyss below them, and he realizes that this might just as well be hell: eternally falling.

Stan, who is on the left side of his two friends, doubles over while still holding onto Kenny and his laughter fills the air. He has a pleasant voice, Kyle has found multiple times, and it's even more pleasant when his friend is laughing.

Kenny's parka has now completely ripped away from his body, leaving his chest exposed while the wings remain, Kyle thinks that they might just be real wings after all, and that they are the reason his parka ripped in the first place, but he wouldn't know and honestly doesn't care. "Tell me about it." the blond comments.

Stan finally stops laughing and kind of gets into a normal position again, though Kyle has long since stopped being able to tell what is up and what is down. For all he knows, they might just be floating in fiery outer space now, he can't even tell if they're really falling anymore, though a hot wind is still coming from what he guesses is beneath them.

Kenny sighs, and then they're suddenly on the ground. Kenny lands elegantly on his two feel, and Kyle can tell that the white behind him is definitely two wings now that they aren't falling. He himself ends up landing face first in the dirt, Stan laughing madly behind him once again. Luckily, his fall doesn't hurt.

"I bet Satan is pretty pissed about something." Kenny says with his 'thinking look', which Kyle has come to recognize as his 'I actually don't care but I'll pretend I do' look. The blond starts walking like he actually knows where they're going, and Kyle stands, sharing a look with Stan before the two follow.

Kyle still has his left hand covering his ushanka, unwilling to let it go. Kenny and Stan's hair are floating around their faces like they're both angels, not just Kenny, and Kyle doesn't want to let his hat float off his head.

"Where are we going?" Stan wonders, jogging up to walk beside Kenny. Kyle feels left out of the loop for a second, until he realizes he's the reason Stan keeps glancing behind him. Kyle personally thinks Kenny is just bullshitting them and that he actually has no idea where they're going, but he says no such thing.

When Kenny doesn't answer, Kyle let's out an irritated sigh and then trips, using both his hand to not hit the ground with a smack. His hat floats away as he thought it would now that he isn't holding it, and when he yelps at it Stan starts running after it to retrieve it, but it disappears when he does finally grab it.

So now, Kyle's red hair is showing, which he does care about, and his red blood is showing because he scraped his palms, but he doesn't really care about that. "Welcome to hell, guys." Kenny says when they've walked for an hour after that and the bleeding still hasn't stopped. Nobody really thinks it's funny, but they all laugh anyway.

Kyle is walking a few feet behind his two friends now, his bleeding hands shoved into his pockets and his jeans turning a dark red because of this. He doesn't think this place is a lot different from South Park. Sure, South Park looks a lot nicer and is a lot colder, but it feels the same and that's what he thinks is important.

Somewhere after three hours of walking they run into Butters and Tweek. They both look perfectly comfortable, sitting on a rock.

Butters has managed to not lose his designer sunglasses that he hasn't taken off since he bought them two weeks ago, even though it's been a harsh winter and the sun hasn't once shown during this time yet, and in the fiery pits of hell, his blue shirt gone from his body and his jeans ripped, he actually looks like he isn't a complete Melvin.

Tweek sits next to him, still his usually twitchy self but not panicking as Kyle imagined he would.

"Well, hey there fellas!" Butters greets them cheerfully when they approach, pushing his glasses up into his blond hair and smiling at them, Tweek just greets them with a twitch and an: 'AACK'.

"Hey Butters." Kenny greets, "What'ya think of hell?"

"I...It isn't that uncomfortable, I suppose." Butters circles his knuckles around each other, and Kyle feels jealous that he doesn't have to hold his glasses to his head in order for them to not fly away, "Why, I must say I've found myself some fine company, too!"

Kenny grins, giving Tweek a salute.

"Aaack, the pressure m..man!" Tweek squeaks, but he doesn't say any more than that, and the three friends leave the two blonde's behind, moving on once again.

Three days later, far after Kyle's learned that hell robs you of sleep, and after following a black fucking butterfly for 30 hours because Kenny insisted on doing so, and after he's learned that he can no longer touch Stan without being swung twenty feet away from each other, Kyle realizes that he, in fact, found the past days better then living in South Park, and he realizes it because they run into Eric fucking Cartman.

"Did you die, or did the end of the world get you?" Kenny wonders, seeing as they haven't seen nor heard from Cartman for about two weeks.

"'T was about fucking time the world ended." Cartman grins, "but is you must know, Kinny, I was walking to schewl a couple a weeks ago and got hit by a motherfucking truck. If I wasn't dead I would kill the driver, I'm so seriously."

"Shut up, fat ass." Kyle comments, though Cartman isn't that fat anymore. Hell seems to have decided the best way to torture him is to let him starve, and Kyle finds that rather enjoyable.

"So Whad'ya think of hell?" Kenny repeats the question he also asked Butters, as if it's at all important what people think of this place.

"It sucks ass, I'm hungry." Cartman pouts, but says nothing more on the matter, and the three friends move on without Cartman, because none of them want to have to listen to Cartman bitching the whole time and they don't know how long they'll keep walking.

Kyle feels tired, though he knows it's not the kind of tired you feel when you want to sleep. He desperately wants to be able to give Stan a hug, but knows that they'll be flung apart if he tries and doesn't want to risk being flung apart far enough that they'll lose sight of one another and never be able to see each other again, so he just ignores his best friend all together, instead focusing on Kenny, who's wings have turned black, now.

But after another 24 hours, he finally can't take it anymore and he lungs himself towards Stan. They hold each other tightly until the force pulling them apart becomes to strong and then they find themselves two times their body's length away from each other. And they both cry like the world hasn't already ended and this is actually it; the end of the world.

"You two okay, dudes?" Kenny asks, looking back at them with that 'Thinking look' of his, and Stan frantically shakes his head and scrambles towards Kyle, coming just close enough that they aren't touching each other but they can breathe in each others scent.

"I'm gay." Kyle announces, "Now that we're dead anyway, I guess I can just say it."

Stan nods frantically, Kyle can't tell if he's agreeing with the 'I'm gay' part or the 'we're dead anyway' part, but he hopes it's the first, or maybe he just hopes he can touch his best friend again at some point.

Kenny pinches his nose in a very Stan-like way and sighs, "You two are absolutely impossible."

Two days later, Kyle is angry and feels helpless and he walks as close to Stan as they can without touching, and he's still following Kenny but he doesn't think the so-called 'angel' really knows where he's going, but who else is he going to follow?

"I don't think there's such a thing as god, guys." Stan admits, on that second day after Kyle admitted something he would have never admitted in life, and even the redhead has to admit that that's about the stupidest thing you can say when you're in hell. "Because I mean, why just let the world end like that?"

"Maybe it was just South Park." Kyle thinks out loud, "That place was already hell anyway."

And none of them know if that's true, and none of them really care if that's true, but after that they give up on talking and simply spend eternally in silence, following the sometimes black- and sometimes white winged Kenny trough the burning pits of hell, not really knowing where they're going and not really caring, with Stan and Kyle unable to touch each other but desperately wishing to do so, and running into some of their classmates once in a hundred years or so, though they never seem to get any older.

Kenny always asks them "So, Whad'ya think of hell?" too, and after 500 years it starts anoying the crap out of Kyle.

_Still, _Kyle thinks, _at least we don't constantly have to listen to Cartman's bitching._


End file.
